Hate: A Valentines Day Edition

It’s the love you try to push away,It’s the punishment for the one who didn’t stay.

It’s a devious little devilish way to only convince us we’re okay, 

When really it’s the monster causing all the pain… 

Tomorrow is Valentines Day and I’ve been seeing a lot of posts going around tackling the issue of love or romance. I was about to make a post about that myself; when something gave me the idea to write about the opposite: HATE. 

When I was little the word HATE was seen as a very strong, sinful word. If one of my friends or the kids in my class would use the word it would be followed by a gasp or scolding. 

As I got older the word started losing it’s intensity, and although us adults tend to casually throw the word around, we forget what a strong impact this word can have. Or should I rather say – this action…

When we are in pain or someone does us wrong or life doesn’t go our way we unintentionally build up a lot of hate towards that person or situation. We see hate as a punishment for the person who did us wrong or a defense mechanism against the pain or sadness. We think it’s easier to be angry or that we are hurting someone by hating them when in reality we are simply hurting and punishing ourselves. 

If sad is the opposite of happy and hate is the opposite of love then love can make you happy but hate can only make you sad. 
Read that again. 

So, for this Valentines Day, I am not telling you to love everyone but simply not to hate anyone. 

I could go on to tell you more about love but in all honesty I don’t know that much about love. I just know that the lack of it is bad and that the opposite of it is even worse. 

Happy Valentines Day! 💖

About your Blog

Glorified online journals – this is how an article on Huffpost discribes blogs from a few years back. This got me thinking… why do people blog today? 

I was playing with the idea of starting my own blog for a long time before I actually went ahead and did it. One of the reasons I was having doubts was because of the millions of other blogs that were already out there. 

I was constantly concerned that my new blog would simply get lost between the millions of other good ones; that there is so much good content out there that no one would be interested in anything I have to say. 

After a few months I decided to let go of this idea and make peace with the fact that if even 10 people read a post I make and take something from it that would be satisfying enough. 

It is now a few more months later and I am beyond satisfied with the fact that I did start a blog. 

That is my story… and I always wonder about other writer’s stories. When I read through all the different posts on WordPress I wonder what motivated each person to start a blog and what the inspiration behind every post is. 

I have many different things that inspire me: 

From the ideas that pop into my head at 3am – when I know I have to be up 2 hours later – to the tiny things that catch my eye when I’m driving, then tickles my mind. 

My moods especially, the happy moments when my heart’s joy bursts into creative words; the times when I feel extreme pain and writing is my only medicine. 
I would love to know what your reason was for starting a blog, or where you get your ideas for your posts. Let me know in a comment if you feel like sharing. 

To me this is just another bit of proof that writing is magic… look how a simple idea can burst into a significant story.

What would the world be without writers?! 

Depression II

It’s the monster that creeps in the night,
Except,

You can also see it during the day
It’s the thing that fights you everytime you try to feel okay

It’s the internal tears on a perfect day,

It’s the hurt you can’t push away

It’s the scars you create in your own heart

It’s the countless times you fall apart 

It’s the neverending dissappointment and pain

For reasons you can’t explain 
It comes with unpredictable timing, 

It’s stronger than you think
If you don’t end it, it will eventually end everything 

GONE

Your ghost is all over the house today – I touch the things your fingerprints stained…

How could you leave me this way?

The more I try to forget the worse it gets. The more I try to remember the scarier it becomes that I’ll miss you forever. 

Your voice echoes through my mind like my pain echoes through this room

Oh how I miss you

Let’s Test

How far would you go for someone you love? 

I am always the kind of person who would go out of my way for those I love. I would always be the friend who texts first and makes the plans, I would be the one who drives out to see my friends, I would even pay for our drinks and lunch from time to time. 

A few weeks ago however, I got into a car accident and broke two of my hip bones. This put me out of order: I was unable to walk, my car had been written off, I was too weak to text most of the time and basically I was just in stuck in bed to recover. 

This turned out to be a great test. With me being unable to do anything for anyone… Who would do something for me? 

I must say the result was pretty shocking. I got phone calls and visits and care packages from many of my loved ones, friends of mine who didn’t even have cars spend money on an Uber to make it to me, people found time in their busy schedules to send me their consent. Now these are the kind of people I want in my life. 

On the other hand some of the “friends” I’ve done so much for in the past were completely absent; they didn’t even care enough to ask how I was. I guess not everyone has the same kind heart that I have. 

This made me decide to filter my friend list. If someone would do nothing for me why should I do everything for them? Enough was enough. 

I highly recommend everyone to do this test. Now I’m not saying you should get into an accident and break your hip – in fact, please DON’T do that, it’s very painful – I’m just saying stop doing stuff for people for a while. 

Take a week and don’t drive to anyone, don’t make the first call, just stay at home and do your thing and see who comes your way. Those who do can stay. 

When we are kind and loving, people tend to take advantage of that and we tend to let them. Sometimes we forget to put ourselves first and we are so focused on how to keep others happy we don’t see that they are the reason for our own unhappiness. 

Don’t be afraid to edit your friend list very often – stop trying to win your friends over and rather make sure that they deserve you! 

Thank Goodness you are Sick!

If we never became sick… Our bodies would just die without warning. 

I came across this statement in a video of Prince Ea, one of the most motivational people you’ll ever find. He used this statement to make another point, but it got me thinking about a lot of things… And I think I can convince you that being sick is a good thing. 

No one ever really enjoys being sick, I mean you might like having a day or two off of work, but for the most part we are all in a hurry to get better and move on with our lives. 

By being in a hurry to get better we often look straight for the solution; instead of thinking about what caused the sickness. Getting sick is our body’s final cry for help, it is a way to force us to stop continuing with our normal ways and take care of our bodies. 

Isn’t this the same with mental sickness? Or any sickness that comes into our lives; like jealousy or frustration? Are these not cries for help to stop and take care of ourselves too? 

You see, when you catch a cold you look at a few possible causes, like having a sick co-worker or not wearing your jacket when going outside. You then take a few days off to get better, a few supplements to strengthen your immune system, and you go back into the cold of winter being a bit more careful than before. 

So maybe this is how we should approach all the illnesses in our lives. When you are feeling sad, don’t complain about how bad your life is, rather look at the causes. Is it because of the people you surround yourself with or the job you have? Treat this illness and avoid it’s causes in the future. 

If you didn’t get angry everytime that guy did you wrong; you would probably have ended up marrying him. Thank goodness for your body warning you and keeping you back. 

From now on be happy for any sickness you might end up with, thank your body for warning you and instead of being in a hurry to get better remember to look at the reasons for this sickness and prevent yourself from catching it again. 

Be your own personal daily doctor, no one else is qualified to do this because no one knows you like you know yourself. 

For today I would just like to prescribe you happiness, free of charge. Don’t be afraid to take it! 

When Life stops handing you Lemons

I don’t know if finding happiness is actually a thing; but if so I think I might have found it. At least for now…

I used to be on an endless search for the key to happiness and the one who would make me happy. This lead to a few too many failures and resulted in me giving up. Several times. 

Unintentionally, I stopped focusing on finding that one thing that would make me happy and slowly realized that maybe I shouldn’t focus on being happy but rather focus on not being sad. 

Happiness is a state of mind. 

These past few weeks I’ve found that by thinking positive made my life positive. I woke up one morning and decided it was going to be a good day, and so it was. 

Being happy isn’t one thing, it’s everything. It’s not a car or a guy, it’s noticing the green leaves and tasting the butter on your bread. 

The happier you are the more good things will come your way. Stop looking for happiness, let it find you. 

I wish everyone could get rich and famous and have everything they’ve ever dreamed of so they could know that’s not the answer. 

-Jim Carry

So when life hands you lemons and tired becomes more than just a feeling, pause and examine those lemons, throw away the bad ones and focus on the good ones. 

That way more good ones will come your way. 

A Life Letter to my Future Kids

I don’t know much about life yet but let me tell you what I’ve learned so far:
There’s no right way to be human; there’s no right time to change. 

Life is a speeding roller coaster and it will go at any moment then come to a sudden stop or just break down and slowly stop the ride. 

Some days you will want to die, some days you’ll just be sad and some days you’ll be even sadder. 

You’ll get hurt, people will lie, your friends will leave you and you’ll be all on your own. After a while you’ll prefer it this way. Your heart will break many times but you’ll learn that it’s strong and it will heal everytime. 

The thing is nothing will last, feelings come and go, some days you’ll feel everything and other days you’ll feel nothing. I can’t tell you which is better but I will tell you to enjoy both. 

Learn from your heartbreaks and get up when you’re on the ground because you’re not going to find what you’re looking for there. 

When you do find what you’re looking for you’ll realize you want more so don’t stress about not getting what you want too much. Don’t hold on to what you have too tightly either, letting go is good. 

Rachel Firmin said that if I had known the freedom of letting go I would never have held on. 

If you must hold on to something hold on to what makes you happy, spend time in spaces that brings your heart joy and dance when the music is good. And if not; change the song. 

Do stupid things, because why the hell not. Don’t be in a hurry to grow up, love things with your heart and not your mind. Use your mind to make decisions and your heart to dream. Bite off more than you can chew and do brave things even when you’re scared. 

I hope that when your roller coaster ride stops your cheeks will be flushed, your hair will be messy and you’ll know more about life than I do now. 

Depression

How many times have you felt like you don’t matter?

How many times have you been asked what’s the matter? 

How many times have you lied and replied with I’m fine? 

How many times have you wanted to die?

How many times have you died… emotionally?

Killed yourself 

Cut yourself 

Broke yourself 

Hurt yourself 

Had no words – unable to speak, unable to move. 

Just think. 

Just… Depression

I Like What You Write

So I’m trying to think of a cool way to say this while sounding down to earth at the same time… but I’ve got nothing. I’m just too excited.

 A few days back I received a notification from WordPress saying I’ve reached 500 likes on my blog! This might not seem like much to some but hear me out: 

Starting my blog a few months ago I had small goals. I felt that if 10 people got something from what I wrote that would make it worth it. Now here we are… 500 likes later. This means that 500 people read my work and enjoyed it. 500 people paid attention to what what I had to say and saw it in a positive way. 500 People. 

I can only imagine the rush J.K Rowling must’ve gotten when she sold her first 1000 copies of Harry Potter, or the excitement John Green must have felt when he got told so many people like his books that they are going to be developed into films. 

But here I go dreaming too big. 

I remember studying idioms for an English test in high school, seeing it as just another thing I had to get done for the day, when I came across an idiom that stuck to me until today. 

Building Castles in the Air. 

I thought it was a beautiful sentence, referring to someone having extravagant dreams and plans that would never be carried out. Something I had very often at this age. 

A few years later I came across a quote that struck me just as hard:

The Rest is Rust and Stardust. 

I do not know who wrote this but it was so beautifully said and had so much relevance to many things in my life. 

So I decided that maybe that is all that my work will be. Maybe someone will read something I wrote and it will become their favourite quote. Maybe someone will like something I said and not feel so alone. Maybe one sentence I say will make someone’s day.

If so, I’ll be delighted. (I only threw that word in here because I like it). 

So this blog post is not about writing good or bad, it’s not about me feeling misarable or sad. It’s a thank you, it’s an inspiration. I get a tingle of excitement everytime I see a new like on my post, my heart feels warm with every positive comment I read. 

Giving love to an artist is a different kind of love. A significant kind of love. 

So please allow me to end this post in a very cliché way and simply say: Thank you. Thank you for each and every like, thank you for reading my posts and thank you for supporting writing in general. 

Thank you very much!