Being BADLY in Love

Love comes in all kinds of shapes and forms, each with different battles and feelings. Love is always strong but never the same.
Today I’d like to tell you about three kinds of love I’ve fallen into. The first being a deadly one.
This is the story about my first love, and like I’m sure most “first love” stories go it’s not a happy one. 

I was so excited to have my first real boyfriend; someone to hold hands with as  we walk in the mall, my goodnight text before bed, my guaranteed date for Valentines Day. 

It took me about seven months to finally tell this guy I loved him. And I knew I loved him because I would’ve done anything for him. Anything. I remember sitting one day and thinking about whether I would die for him, really die for him if I had to. And I knew I would, it’s not like I could live without him anyway.

Unfortunately it turned out he wasn’t my prince on a white horse ( he never looked much like Prince Charming to begin with).  He apparently didn’t like holding hands, he kept falling asleep before saying goodnight and on Valentines day he chose to spend the romantic day with his best friend instead of me. 

Nevertheless I kept fighting for this relationship to work. I was convinced that if I loved him that much he couldn’t be wrong for me. It took me about a year and a half to realize what this really was: desperate love. 

So I finally decided to let it go, when one night in a club I met love story number two. This was a fun one. 

I’ve always been fond of foreigners so when a sexy Canadian guy asked for my number I couldn’t resist. He took me on several fun dates and for the first time my cheeks started hurting from smiling. 

I’m pretty sure I fell for him within a few days because suddenly I wasn’t myself anymore. He was like a drug, he put me on a kind of high where nothing could get to me and I was able to do anything. 

We went to a music festival together and for a few weeks I got to live in a movie. I had the perfect guy from a foreign place who spun my life into a wild adventure. I would’ve married him the day I met him, just like in those fairy tales. 

We would’ve lived happily ever after if I didn’t find out he had a girlfriend back in Canada. As the clock striked 12 and my fairy tale ended I was very disappointed, but in all honesty I was never mad. 

I got to be someone I never thought I’d be and felt things I didn’t know existed. Although it was only for a while and although this love was not realistic it was a blast. It was extraordinary love. 

Many guys and many love lessons later I met the love of my life. 

How do I know he is the love of my life? Because of the way I love him.

Our love is secure, yet I am free. I am 100 percent, completely me, yet he is my everything. 

Our love didn’t require for me to change a thing, yet I wanted to change… only for the better. 

When I look up the sky is still the same colour but when I look at him somehow my heart beats faster. 

This is what I call true love. 

So why did I write about all of this? I guess it’s just to show that just because you love someone it doesn’t mean they’re the one for you. Real love won’t ask you to sacrifice your happiness. 

Enjoy all the kinds of love you fall into and learn something from each love, but don’t be too upset if it doesn’t last. 

Not all love is forever and once you find your forever love you will understand why the others couldn’t last. 

Wishing you all the best in love ❤️